Multi-platform Options: Resident Evil 4 or Resident Evil 4
Up to now, I’ve proven that the Wii generally makes better games than other systems. But what about multi-platform games? How can I compare the X-Box to Nintendo merely by types of games produced? It’s not PS3’s fault that its graphics chip can’t process the funness level of a game like Ninjabread Man!
This week, I have chosen a game that most Wii players agree is far superior to a previous version, mostly due to it hyper-realistic gameplay: Resident Evil 4.
In the Gamecube version of this popular title, Leon Kennedy must save the President’s daughter from an evil cult called Los Illuminados. He does this by walking into a Spanish-speaking village, hearing them talk all spanish-y, then, instead of asking anyone to translate, he shoots everyone he sees in the face. At one point a man is innocently cooking Leon’s tour guide over a large barn fire, a popular custom during “Dia De Los Muertos,” and just before the man can justify his actions by saying “Mi nino es bonita, quiero un quesadillo?” Leon screams: “stop all that taco-talk!” and throws a grenade at a fat man carrying a chainsaw who is so ashamed of his Spanish heritage he covers his face with a burlap sack.
The Wii offers a more sensitive version. Instead of fighting the Los Illuminados cult, you choose from a series of questions that will not only inform you of Hispanic culture, but will improve your language skills as well:
Q: “Te gusta el diablo?”
A: “No! No me gusta!”
Instead of jumping to any conclusions, like “Hey, do these people have parasites swimming in their brains?” a player must calmly use different forms of diplomacy, and only use physical force when multiple crop dust planes fail to kill all the honest farmers’ plant life. When physical force is used, however, the Wii version features guns that shoot “POW!” flags, zombie brains filled with Skittles instead of giant bugs, and most cut-scenes with gratuitous violence are replaced by scenes from Mona Lisa Smile:
Finally, the Merchant, instead of selling much-needed medical supplies and shotgun shells, can only offer clues about where to find Carmen Sandiego:
“I think I might be in the wrong game…Would you mind pointing me toward the Yellow Stone National Park, Gumshoe?”
I can’t wait for Resident Evil 5: Darfur Defeated (Wii release title: “Darfur Restored”) comes out!
The Wii has proven that games need not be racist/violent/sexy/entertaining in order to be fun. Here are some other games that the Wii fixed:
Dragon Force level in Guitar Hero is actually changed to “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls.
Okami becomes the movie-based game Fern Gully.
NCAA Football 2009 changed tackling to two-hand touch.
In The Sims: Castaway, Wilson returns home with Tom Hanks.
La ignorancia es atre-Wii-da!
Dan
